Fear to Faith Part 5

   Some fears can be considered healthy for us.  Fear of God, for instance, and a fear man seldom considers - a fear of God's enemy, thus our enemy.  There was a book written in my lifetime called, "Satan Is Alive and Well."  We tend to choose ignorance when it comes to things we can't see. The spiritual world is seldom thought of by the ordinary person, but it exists and we need to have a healthy fear of Satan's realm and his involvement in our lives.  In order to have a healthy fear, we need to be knowledgeable.  
   This was a fear I did not have, for I was unknowlegeable - ignorant - of the spirit world of evil.  Oh, I had the typical fear of sin and its consequences, but it was all based upon fear of man and fear of a place of fire called hell.  Fear of man embraced fear of whatever priest happened to be in the confessional, or fear of my father's leather strap and sometimes even fear of his voice.
   I don't like to talk much about the time in my life that the enemy of my soul was working very hard to get me to take my life.  I would rather glorify the Lord of my life who helped me overcome.  In this case there was some fear that kept me from destroying myself.  My prayer life was probably never so sincere as it was during this time because, it seemed that God finally began letting me know he was listening to me.  It wasn't instantaneous, but I was on my way. 
   What fear was it that led to faith in my life?  Was it the indescribable fear I felt as I lay on an operating table as doctors were implanting a pacemaker in me at age 45 and something seemed to go awry?  Having made a decision to "follow Christ" four years previous to this, I remembered enough scripture to use in talking to God as I lay there hearing the medical team at work on me.  My whole being was enveloped in fear as I heard the sounds of a lake in my head, and I took the "fear by the horns" and started talking to God in my mind.  "Lord, I cannot handle this fear.  I'm going to let you handle it because you said in your word that you did not give me a spirit of fear, but of a sound mind."  And I promptly passed out and could no longer hear anything that went on around me. (I am now sporting my fourth pacemaker!)

Next:  One of the biggest fears I ever faced.